About Me | The Mom Blog WI

Intro and The Mom Friend Struggle

Hi there, and welcome to my new blog!

    I’m Tresa, Mommy of one handsome little almost 2 year old boy. He is my pride and joy, and the absolute light of my life. I’ve been writing in one capacity or another since I was in 6th grade and it is an art I will always truly enjoy. I have completed three years of an English degree with a writing concentrate. I’ve made several attempts over the years at blogging, about many different things but still haven’t found that niche yet. I absolutely love the concept and dream of being able to sit and write and blog all day, someday. Maybe when I’m 40 or 50 and have nothing better to do, or when my toddler son isn’t running around terrorizing everything in his path. 

    Within the past two plus years I have been completely and utterly consumed, first with my baby-to-be and now my almost 2 year old son. During this time I have experienced a tremendous amount of inspiration, passion and joy, among many other things (like frustration and exhaustion and sleep deprivation), that all comes from my son. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t look at him and find myself truly in awe and admiration. My experiences through being pregnant, giving birth to a beautiful life, and being a single mom for the better part of nearly two years, have given me a tremendous amount of inspiration and the desire to share that with others and reach out to people through writing, which I have always dreamed of. 

    Being a mom, of any kind, whether it be to a toddler, to twins, to two under two, teenagers or even six children of varying ages (how do you do it?!) is definitely hard, trying, beyond rewarding, and sometimes even lonely work. But it’s also filled with moments that are just too funny, too sweet and sentimental, or just downright outrageous and frustrating not to share. If you’re a mom or dad, you’ll understand exactly where I’m coming from. 

    The idea for this blog originated from my desire to have some awesome mom friends. Becoming a mom, or dad, changes you, and thereby drastically changed the friendships I had. The friendships I had two, three, even four or five years before I had my son quickly wilted to nothing after I had my son. When you have a baby, your life completely changes and I found that the friends I had before were in a different place in life than I was then and now. My friends who were in their 20s were still in a party phase, wanting to stay up all night and hangout or go out and have a few while I was hunkered down with a newborn baby and all I really wanted to do was stay in and sleep and look at that adorable little baby face as much as possible. And I bid them no ill will and hoped we left things on good terms. It was just the way life had changed. We were just too busy with very different things and there was no overlap or places where our lives intersected anymore. It was time to move on, instead of hopelessly trying to make something work that just didn’t anymore. 

    After that, I found that I very much wanted to find some friends who were in the same place in life as I was. People who had kids the same age as my son, or close to his age. Kids he could grow up with. Someone I could do those mundane “mom tasks” with like grocery shopping or making the monthly diaper and wipe run to Sam’s Club (ha, how naive of me). Someone to do the fun stuff with too, like taking the kiddos to the park, going out to lunch, maybe even someone to have an occasional drink with once the kids were asleep. I also realized that at this age, my son wasn’t going to “make” friends. My son goes to daycare full time, so he’s well socialized, but the only other playmates he would have will be children of the people I know. The only people who will come to his 2nd birthday party, besides family, will be kids whose mommies and daddies I know. And I quickly realized that I knew very few, and even fewer that I came in contact with on a regular basis or felt comfortable reaching out to. 

    I tried “mom dating” apps and that was easily even more disappointing than an actual dating app. It seemed to me that most moms probably downloaded the app in high hopes, as I had, and quickly found that there weren’t very many moms on there, and even less who were actually active and responded to messages, and then deleted it in utter disappointment and never looked back. I sent messages to moms I thought I might have something in common with but never heard back. From anyone. I like to think that they just weren’t there anymore rather than everyone I messaged looked at my profile and just didn’t like me. 

    I looked for local mom groups on Facebook, and most of the ones that looked promising ended up being a place where moms posted once a month, if that, and not really about anything for moms. Just about garage sales or other random things and questions. I found a church group for moms but haven’t really worked up the nerve to go to that. I found one, exactly ONE Facebook group that is actually somewhat active and there are a few moms in the group that are trying to make it more active. I’ve made a few attempts to get together with them and they sound like awesome moms, but let’s be honest; unless you’re a stay-at-home mom, you really don’t have time to get together with anyone in real life. Between getting up in the morning, getting everything ready for you and your little one(s), daycare drop-off, going to work, sometimes two jobs if you’re working part-time, daycare pick-up, going home, then doing dinner, bath time and bedtime routine, then getting everything ready for the next morning, realistically NO ONE has any time for that! 

    I finally came to the realization that the struggle was very real. I also realized that I’m probably not the only mom experiencing this problem. My last resort would be to put out an APB on Facebook and attach a “mom friend” application, and have a line that says, “Must be okay with drinking Long Islands and Tequila”. And no one wants to be THAT mom. 

    So I started a Twitter, The Mom Blog WI and that has been going really well, and it was always meant to be a gateway into this blog, and here it finally is! It’s only taken me six or nine months to actually sit down and do it, but here I am, hoping that by sharing my stories and experiences, through an avenue that I truly enjoy, I can reach some moms or dads just like myself. And if I make even one person laugh or feel a little less alone, or like they’re doing a great job keeping tiny humans alive, then that’s all I want is to connect with people and give them something beautiful to read. Keep on keeping those little humans alive and happy! I hope you’ll take a moment to follow my new blog by email so that you can keep up with me when I make new blog posts. Thank you so much for reading, I really appreciate the support!

7 Comments

  • The NChanting Whispers

    Hi I'm neither mom nor dad (definitely) though I loved reading your experience and struggle . I can relate with the fact that when dimensions of life changes even we should change our company or they will leave themselves.

  • Tresa Strohkirch

    Hi NChanting!

    Yes this is very unfortunate, but a necessary evil, I believe. I think if lives no longer intersect at the points where those relationships were made, they just won't last. Thank you for reading, I hope you'll stick around!

  • Alicia

    I have recently been following you on Twitter, and can I say, I have often thought about posting "applications for best friend" on Facebook. The struggle to find a mom friend is so hard. And even if you join things where other moms are, doesn't mean you will find that mom friend you want….

  • Tresa Strohkirch

    Hi Alicia,

    Thank you so much for following! I'm happy you took the time to comment. Yes, there is a slim chance that even the groups will prove to have anyone that you can connect with. Unless you have ample free time, it's just extremely difficult. Especially as a working mom, I feel your pain. There just isn't enough time in a day or weekend to try and coordinate with another family.

    I hope you find the best Mom Friend soon! Post that Mom Friend Application! What do you have to lose? I'm sure there are Moms out there just like you and I who would love to have a Mom Friend.

  • Sarah Garden

    I have been a mom for over 11 years now and when I had kids, my "friend" life kind of slowly evaporated. Working while momming probably put the nails in the coffin of my social life because you really don't have much time for anything other than the basics. When your kids are young, you can do playdates but as they get older, their social lives start to increase. I remember thinking when I was a kid that my parents really didn't have many "friends" and they never just hung out with people. Now that my sister and I are grown and out of the house, they have become regular party animals…it's pretty funny but I remember being a little worried about them when I was 12 🙂

  • Tresa Strohkirch

    Hi Sarah,

    Hahaha! Yes, I too recall "worrying" about my parents not having any friends! I have never been someone who had lots of friends to begin with, but now I really don't have any friends. And you're definitely right; being a working mom definitely puts the final nail in that coffin. Working, momming and trying to stay sane make any sort of social life completely nonexistant. We are lucky to have a date night once a month.

    Thank you so much for commenting! Have a great week.

Leave a Reply to The NChanting Whispers Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *